Are my reactions based on love or fear?

How much am I living out of fear or out of love?

 I’ve been thinking lately how I’ve been living my days and how I want to live instead. 

When I started breaking my life down with this lens, I was startled by the honest revelation that I’ve spent much of my time operating in fear. I wouldn’t have thought that until I began analyzing how many decisions I make that are activated by fear disguised as something else. 

Am I saying yes out of love or fear?

Am I saying no out of love or fear?

Am I doing ________ /reacting to _______ out of love or fear? 

So I’ve set out to change it. Some days, I succeed. Other days, I don’t. But I still work toward it and that’s what matters. 

More specifically, this is what I’ve been asking myself in different areas:


Am I proud of my work (love) or hiding away from showcasing it (fear)? 

Am I baring my heart as I feel called to do (love) or hiding to protect it (fear)?

Am I pushing myself to the next level or am I letting fear keep me small and comfortable? 

Am I stepping out in confidence despite past mistakes and missteps or am I letting those hang over my head and shying away from the spotlight? 

Am I willing to fully invest myself in what I do or am I letting thoughts that I’m not good enough hold me back? 

Am I embracing new opportunities or am I thinking about what could go wrong instead? 

Am I showing up 100% as me or am I fearful of being seen? 


Am I loving them or protecting myself?

Am I working to understand their perspective or defending myself?

Am I choosing time with those I love or withdrawing from meaningful attachments for fear of losing them? 

Am I smiling at strangers with love or am I  fearful of their reactions/judgements?

Am I sharing my love with others or am I keeping it to myself in fear of it not being reciprocated?

Am I listening out of love or am I reacting out of fear?

Am I embracing people or pushing them away? 

Am I still myself because I love myself even when in a room of people who may not like me?

Am I showing up 100% as me or am I fearful of being seen?  (Yes, a repeat but important here, too.)  

(Note: This was an eye opener for me. It’s easy to claim love is the basis of everything I say and do for my children, but is that reflected in my choices?) 

Am I lovingly recorrecting their disobedience or am I reacting from fear of the lack of control I seem to hold on them? 

Am I loving them through their mistakes or angry/yelling/reacting because I’m fearful that they could have hurt themselves? 

Am I loving on them with the minutes I have or am I investing my time in things that mean less than them for fear of missing out? 

Am I trusting and enjoying their natural growing stages or am I protecting them and me out of fear of the worst-case scenarios?

Am I signing them up for this because it’s good for them or because I’m fearful of them not being social enough/smart enough/sporty enough/able to keep up with the rest of the world? 

Am I parenting as I know is best for them or am I doing things based on fear of other people’s judgements? 

Am I encouraging them to stand out or to fit in?

Am I acting out of love for my kids or out of what looks good to others? 


Am I exercising out of love for my body or am I exercising out of fear that I’m too ______________ or don’t look like someone else or that someone may judge my body?  (Same for eating/food.)

Am I wearing clothes that express who I am or am I wearing what’s expected/popular?

Am I drinking because I want to relax or to fit in/keep up with everyone else? 

Am I in social media looking to love on others and celebrate them or reading posts with blooming fear that I’m not good enough and that other people have it better? 

Am I enhancing my mind and body with positivity and love or avoiding facing what I need by mindlessly losing myself in things that don’t matter?

Am I surrounding myself with those that raise my vibe and energy or am I surrounding myself with those that drain it and bring me down out of fear of losing them? 

Am I present in love in every moment or am I invested in the lingering fears of the past and the future unknowns?

Am I letting go out of love for myself or holding on for fear of change or hurting someone else? 


Another question I’ve been asking in the midst of challenging times is: Who is this serving? (And is it worth it?)

Fear doesn’t serve anyone. 
Love serves all. 

We make millions of choices a day and many of them are emotion-fueled. But that’s what they are- choices. Our choices. My choices. Your choices. 

We choose.

And I want to choose love over fear. 

This list is just a snapshot. If you have others, feel free to add them.