Are my reactions based on love or fear?
How much am I living out of fear or out of love?
I’ve been thinking lately how I’ve been living my days and how I want to live instead.
When I started breaking my life down with this lens, I was startled by the honest revelation that I’ve spent much of my time operating in fear. I wouldn’t have thought that until I began analyzing how many decisions I make that are activated by fear disguised as something else.
Am I saying yes out of love or fear?
Am I saying no out of love or fear?
Am I doing ________ /reacting to _______ out of love or fear?
So I’ve set out to change it. Some days, I succeed. Other days, I don’t. But I still work toward it and that’s what matters.
More specifically, this is what I’ve been asking myself in different areas:
Am I proud of my work (love) or hiding away from showcasing it (fear)?
Am I baring my heart as I feel called to do (love) or hiding to protect it (fear)?
Am I pushing myself to the next level or am I letting fear keep me small and comfortable?
Am I stepping out in confidence despite past mistakes and missteps or am I letting those hang over my head and shying away from the spotlight?
Am I willing to fully invest myself in what I do or am I letting thoughts that I’m not good enough hold me back?
Am I embracing new opportunities or am I thinking about what could go wrong instead?
Am I showing up 100% as me or am I fearful of being seen?
RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS
Am I loving them or protecting myself?
Am I working to understand their perspective or defending myself?
Am I choosing time with those I love or withdrawing from meaningful attachments for fear of losing them?
Am I smiling at strangers with love or am I fearful of their reactions/judgements?
Am I sharing my love with others or am I keeping it to myself in fear of it not being reciprocated?
Am I listening out of love or am I reacting out of fear?
Am I embracing people or pushing them away?
Am I still myself because I love myself even when in a room of people who may not like me?
Am I showing up 100% as me or am I fearful of being seen? (Yes, a repeat but important here, too.)
(Note: This was an eye opener for me. It’s easy to claim love is the basis of everything I say and do for my children, but is that reflected in my choices?)
Am I lovingly recorrecting their disobedience or am I reacting from fear of the lack of control I seem to hold on them?
Am I loving them through their mistakes or angry/yelling/reacting because I’m fearful that they could have hurt themselves?
Am I loving on them with the minutes I have or am I investing my time in things that mean less than them for fear of missing out?
Am I trusting and enjoying their natural growing stages or am I protecting them and me out of fear of the worst-case scenarios?
Am I signing them up for this because it’s good for them or because I’m fearful of them not being social enough/smart enough/sporty enough/able to keep up with the rest of the world?
Am I parenting as I know is best for them or am I doing things based on fear of other people’s judgements?
Am I encouraging them to stand out or to fit in?
Am I acting out of love for my kids or out of what looks good to others?
Am I exercising out of love for my body or am I exercising out of fear that I’m too ______________ or don’t look like someone else or that someone may judge my body? (Same for eating/food.)
Am I wearing clothes that express who I am or am I wearing what’s expected/popular?
Am I drinking because I want to relax or to fit in/keep up with everyone else?
Am I in social media looking to love on others and celebrate them or reading posts with blooming fear that I’m not good enough and that other people have it better?
Am I enhancing my mind and body with positivity and love or avoiding facing what I need by mindlessly losing myself in things that don’t matter?
Am I surrounding myself with those that raise my vibe and energy or am I surrounding myself with those that drain it and bring me down out of fear of losing them?
Am I present in love in every moment or am I invested in the lingering fears of the past and the future unknowns?
Am I letting go out of love for myself or holding on for fear of change or hurting someone else?
Another question I’ve been asking in the midst of challenging times is: Who is this serving? (And is it worth it?)
Fear doesn’t serve anyone.
Love serves all.
We make millions of choices a day and many of them are emotion-fueled. But that’s what they are- choices. Our choices. My choices. Your choices.
And I want to choose love over fear.
This list is just a snapshot. If you have others, feel free to add them.