Bare Naked

We recently went on a family vacation to Wisconsin with my husband’s side. In that time, I finished reading a book that was gifted to me by a friend, “Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Beautiful, Messy Life” by Glennon Doyle Melton. (Side Note: For any woman out there, this book will change your life, as in make you realize even your insane side is indeed sane. You need to read it TODAY. You can thank me after nothing gets done for about 48 hours, but yet you still feel better by the time you read the last word.)

I’m not sure if it was the vacation or the book or a blend of both and events spread throughout that served as the cause for me to walk into my house at the end of our trip and suddenly feel incredibly weighted. All I could think about doing was stripping off all my clothes, taking a shower, getting rid of all the unused and useless junk in our house, and never ever putting on anything again that ever weighs more than my own skin- including makeup.

Within about an hour time frame, I disappeared upstairs and came back down with a huge garbage bag (like one of those black outdoor leaf tarps) filled with shoes and clothes from my closet. My husband sat on the couch with a raised eyebrow as I mumbled something about how this is just the start of a full cleansing and the need for a garage sale, while trying to drag this heavy and slowly tearing cheap garbage bag down 3 flights of stairs… After I deposited the bag to the basement (and stuffed back inside everything that fell out of the holes I created), I returned to the main level to corner my husband and demand his honest opinion about how he would feel if I went sans makeup from here on out. “Would you be embarrassed to bring me around your friends? Would you still find me attractive?” Oh the poor man… vacation seems to have made his wife crazy rather than relaxed.

I’m not one that gets wrapped up in clothing typically and I usually keep my makeup as natural looking at possible. But I’ve noticed I’m quite hesitant to leave the house without applying mascara and eye liner specifically. It’s like those have become as important as the clothes I wear– all of which are socially designed as important versus 100% surrounding a need (clothing in the winter = necessary; clothing in warm weather = debatably unnecessary). I always envy the women who have never worn makeup. And you know what? You don’t think about how much more attractive they’d be with it. Because all I’ve ever known is them without makeup and they’re attractive as it is. But yet, trying to become someone who no longer wears makeup when everyone is used to you wearing makeup… well, it seems like a bigger challenge and scarier than it should be.

I simply keep thinking about how God designed women… He gave women body hair for a reason, but yet we spend all this time shaving, plucking, waxing and who knows what else to remove it because now it’s considered unattractive. We spend time daily making up our faces to look different than the ones God gave us to display because we think we will be considered unattractive without makeup. How much are we changing ourselves to fit this world versus simply being who God made us to be?

I’m not quite at the point of asking my husband how he’d feel about having a hairy wife… but I am feeling a deep need to become more natural, to become less burdened by “things”… to care less about my outward appearance, and look more inward… to be more focused on what’s real and true, and God-centered. And being more confident in who I was made to be.

My husband may never let us go to Wisconsin again… must have been something in the air.

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